Letting Go
by ncc2011
Summary: As he begins college, Andy still has trouble dealing with giving up his toys.  One night, his late father and former cowboy friend visit him in a dream.


As Andy made the drive to college, he was filled with anticipation and excitement of having a new beginning to his life. Pretty soon, he would have a clean slate to start with. There would be new things to learn and new friends to make. What better time than at 17 years old to make it all happen?

However, Andy's mind was also filled with the last thing he did before making the journey: giving away his remaining toys and playing with them one more time. He didn't really want it to happen, but at the same time, it was his choice to follow the lead that was planted for him. He figured everything that was coming up for him in the immediate future would be enough to take his mind off the whole thing. That proved to be easier said than done though.

Andy got to his campus, unloaded his car and was soon all moved into his dorm room. He spent the weekend getting acquainted with his roommate, the guys on his floor and others he met at all the welcome activities for the freshmen. When all that was finished, he had his first week of classes and browsed around for clubs he might be interested in getting involved with. The second week of classes went smoothly just as the first week had.

Still, Andy couldn't get his mind off giving away his toys. He often found himself drifting off in thought during lectures and any other time he had to himself. He wondered if he had made the right decision. He didn't share any of these thoughts with anyone as he figured he didn't know anyone well enough yet to do so.

Of all the toys Andy gave up, he felt the hardest about giving up Woody. His father had given him Woody as a gift when he was in kindergarten and Andy loved him right away. When his father died sometime after, Woody became all the more special to him. It was part of the reason he initially planned to take him to college and when he passed him onto Bonnie, he felt like he was giving away a piece of his dad, making the part about moving on harder than it might have otherwise been.

The thoughts went through Andy's head once again as he prepared for bed the night before he was to begin his third week of classes. He was hoping his toys were happy in their new home, if they had feelings anyway. Andy climbed into bed, fell asleep and had a dream that would change his feelings on the situation and life in general.

Andy dreamed he was back in his room at home, lying on his bed. The room was just the same as it looked before he packed for college, which meant the toy chest was where it had been. Somehow, Andy knew it was a dream and kind of felt his heart sink when he spotted the chest. When he would eventually come home in reality, he would have his mom and Molly to go back to, but his toys would be gone.

Just then, a knock came at the door of the room, startling Andy.

"Come in," he said slowly.

The door opened and there he was: his father whom he hadn't seen since he was too short to go on most carnival rides.

"Hello, son," said the tall figure.

"Dad!" cried Andy.

Andy hadn't dreamt of his father in years. He jumped off the bed and ran up to hug him. It may not have actually been happening, but it felt so real.

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?" asked Andy after he broke away from the hug.

"Yes Andy," said his father. "But I know what you've been feeling troubled over and you haven't said a word to anyone about it, so why don't you tell me?"

"Well it's just that I can't stop thinking about giving away my toys," said Andy. "I feel especially bad that I gave up Woody. After all, he was your favorite before he was mine. I remember you told me that before you died. In a sense, I feel like I gave up a part of you when I did what I did. We still have other mementos of you at home, but that one meant more to me than all the rest and gave me a bunch of memories I'll have for the rest of my life. I think I just have a hard time letting go."

Andy felt like he was going to cry as he let his heart pour out. He somehow stayed strong and held back any tears that may have been forming.

"Who says you have to hold onto something to remember me?" asked his father. "You just said yourself you have memories of playing with Woody that you'll always have. You have memories of me too. You don't need to keep anything to remind you of someone or something. Aren't memories enough?"

"Your father's right, Andy," said a voice from behind him.

Andy turned around quickly and almost fell back in surprise at who it was. There was Woody, out of the toy chest, walking and talking just like any living thing. The surprise quickly left Andy though when he remembered he was only dreaming and none of this was real.

"Woody," said Andy softly. "How are you doing that?"

"Never mind," said Woody. "I wanted to tell you your father is right on the money. Things are just things and can be replaced by other things. Memories however are priceless and can never be replaced. Other than your friends and family, the most important things in your life are those inside of you, not what's right in front of you."

Andy looked back to his father, who gave a slow nod, then back at Woody.

"But I gave you away," said Andy. "I didn't even want to, but Bonnie would have been so upset if I didn't."

"Don't worry," replied Woody. "You did the right thing. Bonnie loves us and takes care of us just as you did. You did what you had to do. It was time to move on and even I recognized that in the end."

"Andy," said his father. "I know it took you a long time to get over my death as it should have. I was the only father you'll ever have. Don't fret so much about losing your toys though. As Woody just said, toys are only things. Things aren't meant to last forever. Then again, neither are people. The difference is people can talk back to you. Toys cannot. Yes, Woody is talking to you right now, but this is just a dream, where anything can happen."

"It still hurts to lose you both though," said Andy. "You both meant so much to me and I wish you were still part of my everyday life. Woody, I know I stuck you and the others in the toy chest all those years, but I was growing up. I had to stop."

"I'm aware of that," said Woody. "It's a reality every toy has to live with. We don't willingly do so, but we do. Kids aren't kids forever. I went through the same thing after your father grew up and stopped playing with me, but then he gave me a second chance with you and you gave me a third chance with Bonnie. It's all part of the natural cycle with toys. Some aren't so lucky to get new owners, but you loved all of us so much you gave us away to new owners because we deserved better than ending up in a landfill or worse yet, an incinerator."

Slowly, Andy began to realize what these two were trying to tell him. They were both still with him, just not actually with him. That didn't matter however. They had had enough impact on his life to affect the way he lived and as long as they had done that, their missions were accomplished.

Just then, Andy felt himself waking up and the dream ending.

"No!" cried Andy. "I don't wanna wake up! I wanna stay here a little longer!"

"Don't worry," said his father. "I'll always love you and be with you."

"And remember," added Woody. "I may be Bonnie's now, but you're still my favorite deputy."

Andy woke up and looked at the clock. It was 7:00, a little earlier than he normally woke up for class. Still, he quietly got dressed without waking up his roommate, left the room, walked outside and sat on the bench outside the dorm. There weren't many people walking around campus, so it was a perfect time for him to reflect on the dream he just had.

He felt much better about giving his toys away. Though he still had an emotional attachment to them, he no longer felt the guilt and shame of parting with them. They were happier than they had been in years because they were being played with by a little girl who had a lot of years of playtime ahead of her. Before getting on with his day, he thought about them one more time.

"Thanks guys," he said again.


End file.
